the waiting game.

how many times is a healthy amount to check your email and every job listing site you know of in one day? every twenty minutes? twice? i am having a hard time not just sitting in the computer waiting for something to happen. it has become my life. a very boring, uneventful, depressing life. i could be doing so much more with my time. well, maybe if i didn't live in lompoc. i am still waiting to hear about the job i interviewed for last week, and i am beginning to feel less and less optimistic. this waiting game is a terrible game. i keep asking myself where God wants me and what his plans are through all of this. at first i enjoyed my time off. i finally had time to get back to my art. time to read. time to relax. well, i am done relaxing, and i am ready to live again. i am ready to contribute to our household, and have more exciting things to look forward to than my email and what i am going to cook for dinner. i have spent so much time and money going to school so that i could have a good and secure job. and now look at me. i am applying for jobs with hundreds of others, bound to the computer hoping that someone, just someone will see that i am valuable and an asset. all of this applying, waiting, and never hearing back is beginning to make me feel inadequate.

i am so thankful that luke has a job. and not only a job-- a job that he loves. well, for the most part (you know how that is). i would love his job. i just am beginning to resent moving out here. we moved to the central coast believing that God wanted us here to reach the youth. did he want us here? and if he did, now where? i am so tired of waiting. i am anxious all the time. constantly checking and rechecking job listings and my inbox. checking the mail in hopes of some good news. i just don't understand. i find myself not wanting to get out of bed in the morning knowing that all i will do is sit in front of a computer scanning over the same job listings i did before. it's a bit boring and depressing. and if that wasn't worse enough, i live at least an hour away from most of my friends, and everyone else has a life that they are living and loving. while i sit here, waiting. waiting for the next chapter in my life. wondering where we will end up, and when. the sooner the better, in my opinion. i want to find my niche in life. is it education? is it in an office? is it painting? is it writing? who knows. i want to do something that i love and something that will make a difference in peoples' lives. i want to feel worthy, and educated, and wanted. needed. accepted.

despite my setbacks i am rather happy, as, after all, i am a generally happy person. i am happy, but ready for a change. i am ready to not stress about our finances. i am ready to wake up and feel like i am doing what i am "called" to do. i am ready to get on with my life. my life is in God's hands. and i know he has something up his sleeve. i am just so ready...

oh waiting game. can i please put all the pieces away, close the box, and start something new? please?

and the search continues...

so, i finally decided to apply for unemployment. turns out i should have done that a while ago. they are going to be paying me pretty well, and of course, i apply, right as i am being interviewed for a job. isn't it ironic? ah well, at least it will help us get by until i start my job. well, if i get the job. i am still waiting to hear back. today is the day, i think. they said mid-week. wednesday is mid-week, right? well, in either case, my interview in slo went really well last week, and i am really hoping and praying that i land this job. it is in a totally different field than what i am used to, but i am excited to learn something new and perhaps find a career that i love and can move up in. we shall see. i love computers, the internet and all the fancy new technology. it intrigues me, and not to brag, i am pretty good at the stuff. this internet marketing gig may be a good place for me to start. who knows? only God knows what plans he has in store for me, and i know that they are plans of prosperity and happiness, so i can't complain. as soon as i hear back from the employers, i will keep you all posted. but if you are reading this... keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer for me!

until then... ciao!

oh boy.

Things have been rough lately. We are living off of Luke's part time job. We have until the end of January to find a place to live and move. And unfortunately, most places won't accept us because we don't make enough income per month. It is pretty stressful.

But I know God will provide.

So, for all of you virtual people out there, reading our blog, please pray. Pray that God opens doors. That we are able to find jobs and a place to live. That God will place us where he wants us and that all this fog and wind will clear. That we will be able to see the light.

Pray that he will provide.

she's crafty.

Luke has been such a wonderful husband in so many ways. 1. He loves to cook. Which, as many of you know, isn't one of my passions. 2. He makes me laugh everyday. Literally. Not a day goes by that he does not put a smile on my face. 3. He encourages parts of me that no one really took the time to encourage. And that is where my blog comes in. Luke loves that I love art, crafts, and creating things. So, he has made it his job to encourage my creativity. And I LOVE it! Painting and buttons have become new hobbies of mine. So, I am going to post some of the pieces I created this Christmas as gifts for others. I am also currently working on an oil pastel painting of a peacock feather. I am about half way there. Above and to your left is a photo of an acrylic painting I put together for Kelly and Nathan called "Dandelion Dream". Following below is an acrylic/spray painting that is now hanging above Camille's bed. It is called "Cherry Blossom Storm"... well, the name keeps changing, but you get the jist. I like this one.

It is one of my favorite pieces so far. And Luke's. He didn't want me to give it away. The next painting was inspired by a cottage image I found online that completely reminded me of my mother-in-law, Corinne. It is acrylic with some button additions. Pretty cute. This painting took me the longest to complete. There were so many layers! She loved it, and it now lives on a wall in her kitchen. One of the frustrations I have found with painting is finding inspiration. I know that I can paint, but what to paint? How to paint it? And for who? These are some questions that I still have not answered. It seems I cannot just sit down and paint. I need a reason to paint. Is this my own deal? Do any of you struggle with the same thing? I also feel that I am limited in my ability. When we have the money, I would like to take some art classes to hone my skill and find my niche as an artist, because right now, I feel like I am a copycat. Okay, the next painting below is an acrylic I painted for my sister-in-law, Melaine. She has this funky bedroom with bright colors, with French and antique decor. So this piece I called the "Funky Fleur di Lis". It is painted over four canvases to be hung together. It is pretty cute. It was my favorite before the cherry blossom painting. Below is another painting I created for Camille with acrylic. I also found an image online that I liked, and created something similar with different colors and branches. I think
it is pretty stinking cute, if you ask me. I especially like the paint used for the background--it almost looks like wood. It bums me out that I didn't come up with the image on my own... Which is why I am still frustrated and wanting to figure out a way to find my own inspiration. If you have any ideas, please, share. Below is a painting I did for my Mom's office. Yet again, another image I found online and liked. I added her name to the top, and named her "Chic glasses". Fitting for an optometrist office, in my opinion. I also created another image for her office of an eye. It is very modern and reminds me of an ink piece I did in high school in an art class. It is pretty unique, and took a while for me to complete. Next up is an acrylic/decoupage I put together for my Dad. It was inspired by a photo I took of the sky when we were vacationing in Oahu this summer. I added cotton to the clouds to make them stand out, and also added a quote from Aesop Rock about dreams. This next painting is called "Softball Days". It is an urban painting for my dad. It is an acrylic/spray paint piece of me and my dad playing catch.





The purple clouds with gold outline represent my high school colors. The next two paintings were created for my brother. The first is a cute, colorful giraffe, and the second is a collage of urban art, called "The City that knows how." I had the most fun creating the collage piece. And there you have it. This is what I have been up to the last month or so. Creating art. Thanks to my husband Luke. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

Wow.

Sorry it has been so long since we have updated you on our lives! To your right is a picture of Luke and me at Edna Valley winery. We celebrated Luke's 28th birthday in November with many surprises! My family came to town, and suprised Luke at breakfast in SLO along with Luke's cousin Chad. We spent the day fartin' around San Luis Obispo and later wine tasting. That night Luke was surprised again at dinner with many close family and friends! Thank you to all of you who helped make his 28th birthday memorable. He was surprised and felt truly loved that day. :)

Luke and I are still living in Lompoc at the moment, but we are currently looking for housing in the Arroyo Grande area. It is closer to the love of our lives (SLO) and closer to Luke's job as the ASPIRE coordinator in Guadalupe. I, too, have a job pending in Guadalupe actually teaching at a site that Luke oversees! Although it is only part time, it is an "in" in the Guadalupe school district, and it is teaching experience! (The more the better, right?)

Unfortunately we have left the church we have been working with since the summer time. A series of events happened which showed us it was time for us to leave. Although it was a short season, we learned a lot, and are happy to have the experience of working together in ministry. It is something we will pursue in the future, when God opens those doors for us again.

Luke is prayerfully considering joining the Air Force reserves as a Chaplain. Please pray for him as he finishes his Spanish class and applies to Masters of Divinity Programs. We are so excited to see what God has in store for us!

We had a beautiful Christmas season, spending the weekend before Christmas at Luke's mom's house with his family including Nana and Grandpa Art. We enjoyed early mornings, coffee, and yummy food. Luke even cooked a full traditional turkey spread! It was amazing.

We spent Christmas day with my family up at Donner Lake for our first white Christmas together. Although the holiday was different than any either of us had experienced, we had a lot of fun, and have lots of pictures to prove it! (I will be posting some soon!)

Together we celebrated New Years in Paso Robles with Luke's sister Camille and some of her work friends. We had fun ringing in the New Year and hoping for a blessed 2010.

We wish you a blessed 2010 and hope that you had a wonderful holiday season with your family and friends!

More to come... stay tuned!